#my spiritual path

[lilitdraws]

Andrew Wyeth (1917-2009). No Trespassing. 1991.

[hellenicdreaming]

I'm thinking of making an introduction post. I want this blog to be more for my spiritual journey than anything else nowadays 💛🧡

[bunnyamyrose]

religious trauma (healing journey) | things that I remember

• being pressured to get rid of my mermaid things (I was worried back when my husband was getting me a mermaid tail, but I’m really glad that I have it, it’s one of my childhood wishes fulfilled ✅✓)

• internalizing the view of fairies being demons (I love [benevolent] fairies 🧚‍♀️ maybe some fae creatures could be seen that way, though, lol — although some people might/would disagree that those creatures are actually of the fae)

• experiencing comments/lectures about fantasy creatures like elves being bad/evil/demonic (something like that) in the past

• that the Irish folklore book that I read as a kid/teen and gave myself my Irish name based on the princess in one of the stories was gotten rid of (I found a book online a while ago that might’ve been the same book, I have to find it & look at it again)

• having property of mine destroyed for seeming occult/witchcrafty/“demonic” or for having occult/“demonic” symbols on it

• that the authentic Irish cup and saucer from my aunt who passed years ago was destroyed for having an “occult” symbol on the bottom and replaced with something else

• having to deal with aggression and harassment about veganism being “unbiblical” or “demonic” (or whatever), being accused of being “brainwashed” for being vegan and “questioning/judging g-d” for even questioning something(s) in the Abrahamic b*ble

• a christian pastor saying that my husband (before we were married) should not marry me until/unless I “stop being vegan” along with other awful things — and I literally tithed hundreds/thousands of dollars to that organization

• being called “rebellious” and “disobedient” since childhood and into adulthood, even though I tried to explain over and over that I wasn’t trying to be and my view(s) of things

• being treated like I “should know better”, as well as being blamed for personal things even though I was a kid

• a christian pastor saying negative things about me, because I didn’t shake his hand (I wasn’t trying to be rude/mean, I generally prefer not to shake hands)

*pls do not reblog/repost*

[askfordoodles]

Last verse of 'Friends on the Other Side' made my brain think of Emmrich's Lich path in a rudely angsty way...

You're changin', all right!

I hope you're satisfied

...

But if you ain't

Don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the other side!

(You got what you wanted!)

(But you lost what you had!)

[reclaiming-god]

queer love is beautiful and sacred, don't let anyone tell you otherwise 🫵

[fortunaestalta]

[lilbitofmac]

The sorcerer feels a cold chill run down his spine…

[tetzoro]

mr prince obi has been bonding with his father hehe

[ash-and-starlight]

mom was right nobody ever helps in this fucking house

[feminiel]

The purpose of healing is to develop the power to connect to our core, so we can express our authentic self and follow the best path for us to pursue. Healing gives us direction and clarity on how to connect to our highest purposes.

@feminiel

[shame-kink]

the misbegotten are sooo underrated its insane

[histhoughtslately]

Happy Saturday!!!

Taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your wellbeing is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Always check in with yourself and truly listen to what matters most to you. And believe me, you’ll thank yourself. 💫

#notestoself

[creepyjirachi]

okay hear me out. i know i love science and i’m very good at chemistry and physics. but what if i became a fucking accountant

[stephantom]

I’d need to watch it again to confirm this, but I’m pretty sure that Thomas Becket is the only character who independently initiates touch with Henry?

There are plenty of people whom Henry touches, and it’s almost always possessive or threatening: the villager woman in the first flashback scene, the Saxon peasant girl (and possibly the old man? I think he prods at both of them with his riding crop), Gwendolen (holding her shoulders/neck), the French prostitute (kissing, leaning over, sitting on, slapping her butt), his sons (pushing and kicking them), the bishop (strangling), his barons (clutching onto one, tapping one’s head to indicate his vapidness), and Thomas too—(clasping his shoulders when he realizes Thomas is hurt, holding his hand to put on the chancellor ring).

Interestingly, I don’t think we ever see Henry touch or be touched by his mother or his wife. There’s the moment when he grabs/kicks their needlework, and later on he knocks all the plates off the table, possibly vaguely in their direction—so there are two physical interactions which are violent but still sort of… distant? And still the direction is just Henry to them (in terms of physicality, anyway—verbally, they do initiate conversations/fights with him).

Does anyone touch Henry? There are the monks who whip him in the end, but Henry has ordered them to do it. Likewise, there’s the servant/valet/page who begins to wipe him dry in the bath scene, but again, that’s someone performing a duty. Thomas Becket though, cuts in and takes over the drying, and the dialogue tells us explicitly that he’s not expected to do this, and doesn’t have to (“You’re a nobleman—why do you play at being my valet?”) but Becket seemingly wants to do it, and he knows Henry likes how he does it: enthusiastically, confidently, warmly, and freely (“No one does it like you, Thomas”). He towels Henry’s head, helps Henry put on his boots, and then casually uses Henry’s legs to push himself up to stand.

There’s the scene in Henry’s tent, after the French prostitute has left and the two of them are sitting on the bed: Becket sort of leans in and briefly clasps Henry’s arm where it’s lying in his lap, casually and warmly.

There’s also the getaway horse ride, where Becket is holding onto Henry, arms wrapped around him, and they’re both laughing and smiling. Henry’s shirt actually falls open a little and Becket’s hand winds up on his bare torso.

And then there are the thwarted attempts at touch, after the split: the two scenes where Henry accuses Becket of not loving him. Both times, Becket moves toward Henry and reaches out to touch him, and both times, Henry moves away and tells him to keep his distance.

They’re quick little things, but if they are actually the only instances of anyone touching Henry affectionately (or even of their own volition) that we see over the course of the movie, it does support an impression of Henry as fundamentally isolated—maybe there is truth to his claim that Becket is the only person who’s ever loved him.

What’s tragic is that 1) Henry doesn’t really know how to express love himself (see: Henry expressing nothing but violence and entitlement to everyone else around him, and even to Becket for the most part), and 2) Becket’s love, albeit huge in Henry’s world, is conflicted and unfulfilling—for both of them.

Becket might be the only person who’s dared to reach out to Henry and meet him on something close to a human level, and Henry loves him for it, but why does Becket do it? Part of it may just be an instinct of Becket’s to fulfill a need where he sees one, if he can, and if it benefits him. I think it’s so interesting that Henry seems obsessed with the question of whether Thomas really loves him, when it seems the truth might be that Thomas actually doesn’t know; maybe it’s an unanswerable, even nonsensical question to him. Like, what else could he do? I don’t know. “Insofar as I was capable of love, yes I did [love you].” But the fact that his last words, unwitnessed and private, are, “Poor Henry.” Fuck me up.

Ok, that last paragraph got away from me and now I can’t stop. Tempted to draw comparisons to “Beauty and the Beast” (this is a sad version where no magical transformation happens… unless you take a particular Catholic stance and consider that both of them maybe took real solace and meaning in Thomas being made a saint and that Henry maybe found real absolution through his penance).

I also want to compare all of this to “The Lion in Winter”, where it feels like, rather than a story about one lonely monster in a castle full of people he sees as objects, it’s a whole microcosm of traumatized and power-hungry people, reaching out for power and security and love and stabbing each other in the back, over and over. (Like, of course his mother and wife and kids have complex feelings for him—some of which involve love!) I think that depiction is better and less myopic, more true to life and probably a more accurate portrait of the historical figures involved (even when it comes to Henry and Becket—Becket was of that world too, after all), but I think I’ve rambled enough about all of this, so I’m going to end this post now. I’ll just say that there’s something nevertheless appealing about the boiled-down fairytale melodrama of “no one else ever loved me but you!”

[vullcanica]

Characters baring a mouth full of sharp fangs as show of aggression is top tier but can we talk about how sinister a flash of smooth square omnivore teeth can be. The implications therein? The difference between facing a carnivore vs a member of the terrifyingly, aptly named 'opportunistic eaters'? The fear of being on one's menu, the knowledge that you are on the other's - no matter what you are. The inherent danger of a threat display where there are set rules to avoiding harm turning into a hunt on a dime.

Anyway, thinking about Nikodemus and how beautifully all of this translates into his supernatural setting...

[lilitdraws]

✨️King of All Secret Things✨️

Instagram: @golden_yew